Am I Necessary?

July 4, 2007

I felt so tired all day yesterday because I stayed up until 5:00 am today. I laid around and slept. I ironed clothes. About 9:00 pm I started to get ready to do down to the 4th of July Celebration on the river. There was a Phil Harmonic Orchestra, rides, food, thousands of people. My husband told me he had invited my mom to go. I was not thrilled. We went and picked her up and on the way there she saw a place on the side of the road where people were gathering and mom said, "Just let Joe and I out here and you can get lost." I can't remember what I said. I think it was, "You want to get rid of me and have Joe?"

Mom also told me that she had told Joe that we were going to Yukon's Festival. Either that or she said that they had decided to go to Yukon's 4th of July Festival. I told her I hadn't decided where I was going and I started to name all the places where there were events for the 4th of July. I did this instead of confronting her and him. It hurts to know that your nothing but a spare tire. I felt like that in my first marriage.

The guy I was married to the first time would go and to talk to his mom every day after work. He would come home from work and change clothes and then head straight for his mom's house. They lived right next to us on ten acres. They would make plans for everything and then they would come and tell me what they were going to do. If I wanted to go along I could go and if not they didn't care. It was as if my mother-in-law was the wife instead of me. That went on in my first marriage with my mother-in-law and now my own mother wants to do the same thing to me.

I don't understand why this happens? These guys must have something in common. I know the common denominator is me but other than that what is it? What am I doing wrong or what is it about them? I know that my husband now will talk to his family and then when I ask what they talked about he just says nothing much. Yet they talk for a long time. I wonder if he is making plans with them and I'll find out later. I know he has made plans with his friends to go places and then he tells me about it. He never consults me unless he needs something from me. Maybe I'm not necessary.